Another Day In Paradise

Last night was yet another day in my vary own paradise. Yes I am talking about that over glorified....extremely over dramatized area of the hospital filled with drug addicts and cough symptoms....the ER. We've all seen the TV shows that so holistically portray the ER as a place of certain death, and uncertain survival. We all think of it as the true essence of a hospital....blood...gore...the whole nine yards. When in reality it is normally not that extensive. On a normal day it is about 90% cough or abdominal pain victims, and about 10% addicts, drunks, and homeless wrecks. There may be one trauma or car accident mixed in for a relief from the unbearable unfortunate arena of disease and sickness. And I love it all. So you might be thinking why "But why would anyone love dealing with the drunk, ill, homeless addicts that so frequently migrate into the ER arena?". Well I love it because SOME days...every so often, a day can change....it can become a hectic exciting place. Last night was one of those days.

The day started undeniably with an arena (the corridor of patient ER rooms) aforementioned societal paraphernalia. 34 rooms all with nothing more than cough symptoms and aspiring aspirin addicts. But alas...today would be different straight from the start. I was told to get a patient that for privacy purposes we will call Mr. Unlucky. Mr. Unlucky was at work that day assembling a shed of sorts. Also at Mr. Unlucky's work his coworkers were about to celebrate with a party commemorating two wonderful years of accident free work environment. A great achievement in anyones book to be sure. But like the ER, and environment can change in a heart beat. And in this work environment it changed in the form of Mr. Unlucky shooting a nail gun with 4 inch carpenter nails... straight...into...his fingers. I mean needless to say its pretty common to see people who have shot themselves with nail guns, I mean think about the concept of a nail gun...not so smart. I guess someone decided that in a world where people cannot even go one day without hitting their own hand with the hammer, we needed to add to the equation a nematic device that can inflict just a bit more pain. I digress, so Mr. Unlucky is in the ER hoping to get just an ounce of great patient care at the hands of yours truly. He proceeded to tell me about his unlucky accident that ruined an accident free party at his work. He said that everyone at work was disappointed at him. Hell I would be too if I lost out on cake and ice cream, none the less I felt bad for the guy and proceeded to tell him that he may have ruined everyones day at work but he sure as hell brightened my day up. Because as I stated before...a nail can change someones day...and for me that was for the better.

BUT WAIT! the day wasn't over....it had just one more surprise waiting for me. This time in the form of a man strapped to a gurney being brought in by the paramedics. This unfortunate man, we'll call him Mr. Unfortunate, was yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs rambling on about divorce and not obtaining it. Now It's not to say I don't see any drunks in the ER, because let me asure you .... I do. This man was covered in what seemed like his or someone else's blood. Also not so distinguishing. I mean people get in fights... apparently this time about divorce..... and come in bloodied up all the time. So until this next event I was unwaivered by the sight of said bloody drunk.....until the following. Remember before when I said things can change in an instant...well it was about...in a not so good for Mr. Unfortunate but great for my entertainment value ...way. Mr. Unfortunate is rolled in the ER room..NOT the more emergent Trauma bay mind you. And the attending Doctor strolls into the room with his indefinite confidence and demands the patients condition. The paramedic proceeds to state that there was alcohol on board, IV started, BP stable, Allergies, and Oh Yea a "laceration to his right arm"....... Let me remind you all that a "laceration" is defined as the following: A tear or break in the dermis or skin of an individual....THIS WAS FAR FROM A LACERATION!! Dr. Confident proceeds to remove the dressing and garb around Mr. Unfortunate's arm and proceeds to yell "What the FUCK is this guy doing in the arena...Get this man to the Trauma Bay or he is going to bleed out right now!". Now at this point I have yet to see the arm. But I quickly rush to meet the crew in the trauma bay...as is customary in a Trauma situation. And there it was...the full extent of this unfortunate mans injury. Lets just say his arm was..... divorced. I mean this guy literally managed to punch his way through a window that undeniably won the fight. It was a partial to Full amputation. I watched as Dr. Confidant held pressure on this mans right arm above the "laceration". Looking at the man's arm was like staring straight into an anatomy book's cross-section of upper extremities. You could see the bone....muscles were clenching...blood vessels were squirting all over....I mean you could see the nerves! If you want to get an  idea of what it looked like... go out an buy a T bone stake with the bone inside. Take a look at the meat and squirt ketchup all over it.....thats about right. Just you know...attached to a human being...... None the less this guy was rushed to surgery and the painfully skillful team was able to do damage control. But in an case it brightened my day up and I hope I didn't gross anyone out...but the ER is my paradise!